Friday, December 21, 2007

A Cabrini Green History Lesson




So In October I went to Chicago for a wedding....and..err, was astonished how easy I rolled from the Magnificent Mile right on up into Cabrini Green...




Here are some of my recollections of my adventures....




"I was soo suprised how easy it was just to roll up into the hood in Chicago.... I was like, 'what the hell are those flashing blue lights for?they're like the 'I've been assaulted' College Campus lights'




And Drew was like "Fool, we're in Cabrini Green, Flooor IT!'




Nobody told me, so I just drove....crossed LaSalle,and was all WTFluck?


Flashing blue lights?Is this the K-Mart neighborhood, is ish on sale?


Like, for 6 blocks? I just pull over, and get a discount?


The Projects:Sponsored by K-Mart"




So In recalling this, and remembering, like we made a right turn, and we were in rather uppity Wicker Park...I was wondering, what the hell was Cabrini, doing like, on the nice side of town (I had just assumed all the projects were on the south side of town). But my mind skipped back to San Francisco's Fillmore, or My own East Palo Alto and Belle Haven districts of Menlo Parks, the politics of "White Flight" and remembered...ooh...I grew up in similar, if not as severe issues...in rather affluent San Mateo County, just like 3 generations of Cabrini residents grew up, passing Wicker Park and the Magnificent Mile on the EL...to go back to Cabrini.




And it makes me wonder, as there was a riot in New Orleans, as the Public Housing Authority approved to tear down a 4,500 unit project in the 9th ward...does the government really care anything for the good of its residents, or a sense of community? Like, from what history tells me Cabrini Green's row houses built in the 40's were actually decent places to live...The Projects The Supremes sprang from, were recalled favorably by all 3 girls when they moved in during the mid 1950's. But something went wrong with the planning by the early 1960's. Like what I read about Cabrini, maintanence was skipped, the lush greenery and gardening was paved over with cement, wire went up to prevent people falling from the massive patios...the local jobs left....and the same fate fell Brewster Douglass, and nameless projects nationwide...(Like Sunnydale here locally). I don't wanna lie all the blame at the government about setting hopes high for project residents, and then leaving residents to their own devices...as the immigrant and first generation Irish and Italian families that mostly occupied projects before African Americans used them as probably the best thing in a capitalist system, as a means to save and move on to home ownership they could afford...




But, now, 50 years later....again with the subprime mortgage crisis on my mind...and with urban renewal primarily focusing on bringing "market rate" housing...I can't help but think, at this point the government has turned it back on people that have supported it so long...just in the same way it's robbing man young men and women of their youth and future with false promises in the military....at the end of the Cabrini Green article, it's said that those forced out of Cabrini's tear down, but who still wanted housing were sent to even worse projects, like the Robert Taylor homes (ironically named for the first certified African American architect), and most just gave up hope, and moved to more economically depressed areas like Gary, Indiana, away from the oppurtunities that a metropolis like Chicago could provide....




It's 2008 people, and I think a lot of us need to do a Sister Mary Clarence in Sister Act II and Wake up and Paying attention, cause you never know when you might be ass out....

So Black It's not even Black Anymore...it's Just SUPABLACK




I am dying of laughter, all up in my cube, at Kanye West's apparent blackness..




SPIN: You made a conscious effort to shape Graduation for the next level of mainstream success?


KANYE: A conscious effort to take it to the next level in every form of success. More black people bought this album than any I've made.


SPIN: Does that make sense to you?


KANYE: Uh-huh. Because I made the album blacker.




Like, you know, at one time, this woulda been called making the stuff more Soulful, or from the heart (like, you know, how black folks do it, all the time, well, except for Byron Gumble and Wanye Brady....). But, to Kanye, it's taking the cultural paintbrush and making it "Blacker"




Oh folks it gets better....




SPIN: And what foods would fall into that category?


KANYE: White-people food? You know what it is. You never ate fried chicken and said, "This tastes white." It's America. People know the stereotypes. I play to the stereotypes. I believe in the stereotypes. And I submit to them. [Affects a black, Southern accent] "Man, black people sure can cook some chicken! And I'ma get some black chicken."




I think I just had a cardiac arrest of laughter...but part of me is like, you know...other than the "Italian way" (Bread crumb breading) I hate to admit, but I've never eaten a piece of Fried Chicken made by white hands that I enjoy....like...SSsssHHH Kanye, we don't need the man to know we don't trust his chicken! Like, I hate to think that Kanye's borderline racially offensive interview-rant has a point...but...umm...there is something soulful about how blackfolks fry chicken...I just wish Kanye didn't point that out for me to have to actually contemplate that..




And in closing Kanye says




"It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black."




..................




Just damnit....


(Cues "Everything's Right, Everything's Wrong" by Chris Clark...a white chick signed to Motown, and Screenwriter for "Lady Sings The Blues")


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

A lil Hip Hop Slash Fiction for ya.........



"Zac Efron pops in a profile on Lil’ Wayne by the O.C. Weekly.
The paper claims that the unlikely duo are working on music together and that their reporter witnessed the following:
“What’s up, my nigga?” Efron says, giving Wayne a pound, a hug, and then, to my astonishment, a full-on kiss, reminiscent of the one Wayne famously gave his surrogate father Baby last year. (Obviously, Efron is going to have to work harder to squelch rumors surrounding his sexual orientation.)
This has to be a joke right???"

And of course it is....

But that doesn't stop me from thinking this would be like the most awesomely wrong couple ever since Ice T and CoCo! You know Lil Wayne would be selling Zefron at the corner of every project nationwide while on tour for a few extra dollars. It would be...just a dream, for this piece of wrongness to be true...Why do I say that, cause Zac Efron is not real, like there might be a human underneath 50lbs of fake layering, like CoCo, but not really...and You know I think it would take a man like Lil Wayne to melt down all the Barbie doll (or build it up more) and make Zefron all the man(whore) he can be, more than Disney can do by plastering his posters all over teenage America's walls....

Honestly, I hope Zac Efron isn't gay, unless he's on to the DL Swirl like this, cause..really, this would be the most awesome gay pairing ever....

We Only Wanna Laugh!

Thank you, Patti, for laughing at foolish people, on National TV, and not front about how ridiculous all of them were.

Like the 15 people in a row that launched right into "Voulez Vous Coucher avec moi? Ce Soir?" Like to your face, like forgetting that, you know, umm, you recorded that song, a #1 song, and had to sing it endlessly, hell, you might be just be sick of that song! And you told them, sing something else!

THANK YOU!

You are the idol for the week for keeping it real...And, the real thing this week, tired people are funny, and are worthy of mockery...

God Bless You! Patti LaBelle


Friday, December 14, 2007

And Speaking of bad hair......


So, someone needs to tell this poor Celebrity child to make her appointments for her hair extenstions at the following site:


Between her daddy's Die Hard Franchise and whatever her mom is doing with Ashton Kutcher...Someone should tell her Tranny weaves aren't even worn by Trannies anymore, even trannies have learned how to run a comb thru their synthetics while tucking their magic sticks between their buttcheeks....It's really not hard Rumer Willis...
You don't wanna be *That* girl that people say "She can't use a comb, so don't bring her home!" about!
Press!
AND
Curl!

When 1981 fashions, should really stay in 1981


So I noticed Saleisha from ANTM's hair was, err, kinda Old School, like the kinda hairdo my mom had when I was an infant (and I have the baby picture on my desk to prove it) But, where exactly Miss Tyra Banks got the insipration from didn't hit me, until someone clued me in today....


Fina:I think she looks like Tootie
Fina: the facts of liiiife...the faaacts of liiiiife!

So there we go...Miss Tootie Saleisha




Wednesday, December 12, 2007

No More Need to Fear the Cake Anna Mae...


Cause Ike be dead!


So, Ike Turner, 2007 Grammy winner, passed away this morning at 76. Hopefully he didn't

release any CDs this year for Grammy consideration for 2008, So Tina can save the embarrassment of throwing her wig at the screen, post-humously.


Lord, one more crazy Negro down, about 1,209,786 to go.


Tina Turner can now safely eat Cake...and sing for the Whiteman in peace.


Question tho?


Will Tina be attending Ike's funeral?

Monday, December 10, 2007

See Any Similarities?



I'll be durred....

Aretha Franklin is considering 41 year old Halle Berry for the prestigious role...of her life....

I didn't know they had started serving pot Biscuits at Popeyes....

You do realize that would be some of the worst casting since, err...hell, that would be the like, stupidest casting job like ever!
Halle berry, like, err, well, can play err..Women, Black Women, of the past...that, hate to say it Aretha, are of smaller stature
And, Halle Berry...really...

I think that shows some major issues that Miss ReRe has with her self image. As much as she's professed to refute the thin is
in mold that 1) Killed Dinah Washington and was perpetuated by her peers (in terms of success) of the 1960's thru 80's, Dionne Warwick
and Diana Ross, her time with the Master Cleanse and "Until You Come Back to Me" has me thinking that, 65 years of life has not
taught the Queen of soul some major things about body image and self love...and err, to be totally cliche...

*RESPECT*

Like, her alternates are Fantasia, and Jennifer Hudson....even tho I personally would nominate Jill Scott for consideration, Down to earth, soulful
comfortable with her beauty that is beyond the narrow standards....hmmm...if Only Aretha, could get off the Honey sugar high..see past the glamour, and give the "real sistah soul, go sistah go" a chance...

My mouth laughs, and my soul dies....


Friday, December 07, 2007

"But I said No No No!"



So, at least , stoned out of her mind, Amy Winehouse remembers her damn Panties!

So, you might be wondering why Winehouse is on Negrohallofshame? That above statement

That's a girl from the hood if I ain't met one...


"I may be high as fuck, but fo' sho I'mma gonna make sure I got some clean drawls on!"

So, yeah, Amy Winehouse is on Coke, Her whole record is basically the day in the life of a nice straight white middle class girl on Drugs!
And, you know, that's ok, cause she has the free will to make records about it if a record company is willing to pay her for it. And she has hit records!
So, if she wants to waste her check on blow, and end her life before collecting her deserved grammies, for basically having the good taste to find one of the
best backing bands (The Dap Kings) and set her sorrows to the Equivalent of Shirelles, Shangri-La, Etta James and Martha & The Vandellas records, we should really leave her alone...

Let her be the mess she wants to be!

Altho I does just break my heart, to see A crazy genius self destruct before she gets the cultural landmarks she so deserves...Like, couldn't she wait until like 3 years after "Back to Black" to go completely crazy?

So, yeah, lets hope she doesn't end up like Esther Phillips, or Big Maybelle, or Billie Holiday, or to a lesser extent, Florence Ballard....

Soul is supposed to be about trials and triumph, on and off record....
That's why Mary J. is saying she's "Just Fine" these days......

A house, is not, a home...



So, yeah...2007 sucks if you bought your house in 2005, and you really didn't look at your Loan Application, Doesn't it?

So, rising mortgage rates are hitting a lot of Minorities (including us Negroes) and a whole lotta broke White folk where it hurts,
like, throwing your ass out on the curb and repo'ing your Car too! And why?

Well, a lot of Lenders prayed on the fact that, well, deep down, everyone wants their share of the American Dream...and, swindled people, that they knew wouldn't read the fine print on their loans, the over worked, over tired that want to move out of smaller urban, and semi-surburban housing to huge mini mansions on the edges of metroplexes....

I'm most familar with places like Fairfield, Antioch, and Brentwood around these parts

But, what happens when you move 50 miles away from work...you end up spending a lot of your income, maintaining a car....So...yeah..and then urban renewel (I'm starting to see what James Baldwin said in 1962, about San Francisco, that it's Negro removal....the Sub Prime Loan was a tricky, sophisticated way to use capitalism to do Urban renewals dirty deeds, now, many poor people are losing homes, and have nowhere to go, and are priced out of old spots near their old jobs, because the "hipsters" have moved into their old flats and bungalows in the hood, in the name of New Urbanism...Ironically, President Bush stepped in this week to halt the Mortgage crisis, when it looked like it was gonna balloon out of control, and take the New Urbanism movement with it).

So, I hope, that we all don't end up homeless, the economy doesn't grind to a screeching halt (my daily bread right now is Commercial Real Estate Listings Ironically)....and, well, when will we, as a society stop trying to fuck ourselves over?

Got Me A Cadillac, Cadillac Car


So, I've succumbed to my Negrodom
And that's ok cause it's the 2008 Car of the Year

And have fallen in love with the rather blingy Cadillac CTS...

I've decried the love of bling, and Detroit automakers for playing the African American Automotive consumer as idiots, for pandering to
us with Explorers, Aspens and Escalades...

Have you seen that New Chrysler Town & Country Commercial, where the whole Jenkins Family goes into the Driveway and sits in the Van, eating
Sweet Potato Pie and Watching Medea's Family Reunion? Umm, yeah, that's why we checked off all the option boxes at the Chrysler dealership, so we can move the Childrens table to the driveway and run down the battery...

It's sad...we sit there, in the van, watching TV, not driving anywhere....

Why, cause we keep having to buy new batteries, so we can't afford to put gas in our brand new car....

ugh...

Anyways....

So, Like I've been brainwashed by both "Dreamgirls" and "Hairspray" and now I must have a Cadillac, Cadillac car (did anyone else notice the Cadillac portrait the Dynamites were singing in front of in "Hairspray" was the same Model year (1962) and color (Rose Pink) as the Cadillac Curtis, CeeCee and The Dreams heard "Cadillac Car" in the Movie Dreamgirls in?, maybe that's just the legacy of Negrodom in 1962, a Rose Pink 1962 Deville 4 door hardtop).

I've been conquered...and it's not ok
DAMN YOU DETROIT!

Did Someone Get Some Speech Lessons

So, give a girl an oscar and a modern day Mammy role as Carrie Brandshaw assistant, and apparently you need to snuff the Cabrini Green out of her speaking.

So Jennifer "I'm Not Effie, Thank You Florence Ballard" Hudson is one of the most fascinating people of 2007, along with the founders of of the now dying MySpace, and crazy ass Izzy from Grey's is one of the most fascinating people of 2007.

The only thing that is facinating me nowadays about Jennifer Hudson is now she's speaking a scripted version of the Kings english...She's lost that "aww shucks good lawd, I'm just a guuurl from the southside that likes to saaaang" persona, and, for a lack of a better way of saying this...went thru Motown's Charm School and came out the other end Diana Ross....

Even Diana Ross seems more earthly these days in comparison.....

So, umm, yeah, now..Jennifer Hudson, after her oscar win, is fast losing what made her unique (like beyond the fact that she can walk into any burger king and get a free Whopper)

Oh well....

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Welcome Back! A New Season of Madness

Welcome Back to Negrohallofshame 2007!

Why are we back, talking about the madness? Well James Brown's body is still in his Air Conditioned Basement? Isn't that Mad enough? And LaToya Jackson is paying off her Cosmetic surgery loans from eLoan by being a cop on National TV, and Rosie O'Donnell is enjoying it....

And Diana Ross is soo desperate for work and attention because Florence Ballard is getting more attention for being the basis of Effie that she is, going to be a "Mentor" on American Idol.

This season of American Idol is sponsored by Crackbaby 16 year olds with Dreams of touring in Dreamgirls apparently...How many times are we gonna hear "And I am telllllllllling you........I'M NOT go....ING" this season

"and you and you and you"

You're gonna love Negrohallofshame in 2007.