Go Away Little Girl....

Sometimes I wish High School would go away...but last night it came back full force...

My Cousin was talking about the reality show Real Chance of Love... one of the many ridiculous VH1 spinoffs that started 4 or so years ago with Flavor Of Love. And she said:

"there's some chick about your age from East Palo Alto on the show, high yellow chick, looks like she's covering up her acne with bad foundation"

and I immediately thought...Lynette...Lynette Fomby.....

hadn't she embarassed herself enough with her appearances on Divorce Court 3 years ago. Shouldn't she be busy reshaping her life instead of trying to become a star by any means possible...

I basically started this blog 2 years ago because I was disgusted that I came from a community and a society in which, I graduated with some that bought into this idea that being famous could be the most important thing as a human being to be, at all costs....and without using actual dignity and talent to actually distinguish yourself above and beyond those who surround you...

Lots of people get divorces...only those that are attention starved and for some perverse reason wants their personal lives broadcast in the middle of the afternoon on non-network affiliate stations...go in from of (then) Mablean Ephram...and get their 23 minutes plus commercial break of fame

Lots of people are looking for romance...but only those looking for their 43 minutes plus commercial breaks of fame seek it with brother press and curl and brother bipolar on a Cable reality show....

It's just a sign of the larger cancer of the American Soul right about now. Are we all so self centered and insecure, and need to pursue attention so much that we end up being laughing stocks of pop culture? Lynette wrote in my senior yearbook "see you on the stage" but why isn't she using actual talents she has, instead of being on a show...where her only talent is getting a BigLots clock and pasting some pictures of the reality show starts in said clock....with some 3M tape?

It's sad...it's sadder that I came from the same Menlo-Atherton Class of 2000 as this woman, and the same zip code....if I see her in the next T.I video shaking her ass, I'm personally putting a citizens arrest on her ass....

Apparently He's Not An *ANGY BLACK MAN* in this Movie....

Ooh! Reverse Racism! Me Likes Black men who fight against the swirl (and probably fight against prop 8).

"Directed (but not written) by Neil LaBute, this drama builds up a fair amount of discomfiting tension, with Jackson wisely underplaying a role that could have turned into a villainous caricature."

Am I wrong to think, even if it isn't a campy caricature....and, well Samuel L. Jackson's roles of late have been kinda...come on...Black Snake Moan anyone, you can't tell me you watched that movie and didn't cringe and laugh out loud at the same time at the Southern Fried repressed craziness and not so latent racism in that movie....

Is Samuel L. Jackson the Blaxplotation king reincarnated? Lakeview Terrace begs me to wonder if that's the sho-nuff truff....If his performance in the movie isn't over the top...the premise of using the "angry black man" against "just about everything that isn't him" is quite...umm...much...like so much it could be instant MST3000 fodder....

Just sayin....

But, on another note...one wishes that there'd be more varieties of roles...for all peoples. Maybe independent cinema will make a comeback...

HA!

umm...please?

Everybody loves a re-hashed Girl Group Record

Me: What is that Supremes sounding B-S in the background in that Beyonce "Light Bright" L'oreal ad?


Cousin: It's Solange's new stuff....








I have to hand it to things...whenever things get tough for a struggling female artist (more often than not those pegged in an R&B category), The smart female artist busts out Phil Spector's Baion beat (Amy Winehouse in 2006) or one of 3 Motown categories...





Duffy went for Martha & The Vandellas with "Mercy"





Also-ran Solange went here.....

Aww...Where Did Our Love Go? Aww...where did 45 years go...apparently nowhere because it's back...on the airwaves...just to make the world seem a bit crazier. It seems to add to the frenzy of dis-belief of all points of life anymore.

And to me it points that the evolution of American Culture probably ended with the Nixon Administration...and if it survived beyond that point, it died when Reagan told the populace that it was "Morning In America" again. So when things get tough, when we need innovation, we do a time warp to the 1960s...or some point before...

And as much as I love (and spetacularly failed) this resurgence (ok my plans aren't dead...I just have to reform them), I worry that whenever we find ourselves in a tight spot, or to prove ourselves (as artists and a collective populace) we fall back on our old school skills...mix them different ways...and sell ourselves on dreams we've already accomplished....dreams that have already faded

What is "I Decided" but a blend of "Heatwave" and "Baby Love" with a little "I Decided On a Whole New Plan"

What is a SUV hybrid from GM but an Oldsmobile Diesel V8 across the board

What is Identity politics, when we should really unite as one?

So next go around...let's not sample the beat...let's see if we can improve on the romantic vision of the past, but not use it exclusively....

(and word to everyone: Martha & The Vandellas "No More Tear-Stained Make-up" is my garage band cover...hands off)

Can I have some 'dat Weed Jam to Go On My Biscuit? Thanks Brah!

http://www.stereohyped.com/anthony-andersons-high-all-the-time-20080501/

Larry: Wellness Center

Dafina: Lmao

Dafina: it's the weed spot...let's be real

Larry: The legal weed spot
Dafina: madness

Larry: Lets just say, I wonder what his Pound Cake tastes like

Larry: If it tastes kinda "herbal"

Dafina: damnit

Dafina: LOL

Larry: Marijuana Butter

Larry: On some toast

Larry: Just, really

Larry: How does that go with grape Jelly

Larry: Or honey?

Larry: Is there some "tree honey" to go with that?

Dafina: so could happen

Larry: Buncha drooling sleepy people

Larry: With a buncha crumbs scattered around

Dafina: LOL

Dafina: that would be awesome to give to unsuspecting people...er coworkers?

Larry: And then film the results

Larry: And say it was part of a workplace counseling session

No wonder Anthony Anderson can't keep a damned job. His serverance package from every entertainment gig he's ever done, once's he's gotten fired for getting the cast and crew high, is a clause to never turn him in to the police, and a business card...for off ours "discussions" of "future projects" (I.E. Smoking out in his Monte Carlo on Pico Blvd...then heading into Roscoe's)

Can we keep our pot smoking, off the clock Anthony? Kthanks....I don't need any of my prospective employees thinking when I come in with red eyes and some baked goods that I have "motives" for sharing...

Money, Money Money, Monay!

Miss Fuquan: damnit

Miss Fuquan: clearly he was high!

Miss Fuquan: Only high people would state such claims

imissoldsmobiles: You know that fool just kept writing in zeros

imissoldsmobiles: "Lemme see how many zeroes can I get away with!"

Miss Fuquan: "uh...let me add just one more...just...one...more..."

imissoldsmobiles: So it went from $36 to $360,000,000,000

Miss Fuquan: or $3

imissoldsmobiles: Uh uh

imissoldsmobiles: But possible

imissoldsmobiles: High a$$

Miss Fuquan: soooo possible

Miss Fuquan: I blame Next Friday

imissoldsmobiles: That's why I don't give tree fans a check

imissoldsmobiles: Give them cash

imissoldsmobiles: So they can't fake that

imissoldsmobiles: Unless they get a color copier

Miss Fuquan: even then...they might add zeros to the bills

imissoldsmobiles: Sooo true

imissoldsmobiles: Add them, with a sharpie

imissoldsmobiles: A green sharpie

Miss Fuquan: "This is a limited edition 20,000,000!"

imissoldsmobiles: And the man in the center, Method Man and Redman

Miss Fuquan: you ain't neva lied

imissoldsmobiles: The $50,000,000 edition with Mike Epps

imissoldsmobiles: All grinning

Miss Fuquan: the 100,000,000 with Ice Cube

imissoldsmobiles: YES!

imissoldsmobiles: Its part of the "Thank God It's Another Next Friday after Next" boardgame

So White People Invented Clocks?

“I’m late all the time. I have no perception of time. Time is for white people. It doesn’t work with me.”
–Erykah Badu

In all the pictures I looked over google images, It seems Miss Badu doesn't have a damned watch, cellphone, wall or digital clock around here. Just Dang guuurl, and why? Time is a construction of the white man?

Not exactly...

I think the concepts of the sun, the moon, light and dark, and your ass having to eat, sleep and work have *something* tied to the motherland in regards to time...and...umm..clocks...How I'd love to make up a few excuses not to have to run on time and stuff, like you Miss Badu...

Let it be known, I do not endorse CP time....

Next time I go to a Erykah Badu concert, I'm giving her the gift of a wrist watch...and I'm petitioning Flav give her a Flavorette Clock..so she'll forever know what time it is...

Pure Cookie Coonery

So I went to a Beer Bust yesterday, lots of Bearish and Leather adjacent Gay Men...not too many Negroes amongst the crowd...

But later in the afternoon I saw the most supreme act of Coonery so far in 2008...It might lead me to start the Coon chronicles...

I think my text message of astonishment to friends sums up what happened best...

"Why did a fool just ask me if a Chips Ahoy Cookie on the counter was my cookie, and when I said no he ate it...directly off the counter?"

Yes...mind you there were only 10 other Negroes in a place of about 300, basically, white men. And this fool had the nerve to eat
some random cookie that was just sitting there...on the counter...next to coatcheck...

I think it's gonna be a really long long shameful year of negrodom....

Like, really, if you're that desperate for a cookie...go steal a fresh one from Safeway or any chain store with a Bakery, they're equipped to deal with such shrinkage....don't embarass all black folks by eating random food, all proud...in a room full of 300 white people...

It's All About Hair!

So along with her line of LipChap, Saaphryi "Imma beatchu with FLOWERS" Windsor is selling you some weave..
Some "Indian" weave, at $278 a pack!

http://www.SAAPHYRI.com/

Not to be outdone Miss Patti "I take flight on stage and think I'm flying higher Higher HIGHER" has announced her own line of hair, in wig form to be sold thru Especially Yours.Com

http://www.especiallyyours.com/patti/empty_pl.asp?cid=14&mscssid=&adsrc=

I didn't know 2008 was gonna be the year of the African American Hair extension/accessory. According to the Chinese Zodiac its
supposed to be the Year of the Rat right? Maybe according to the Korean hair palaces both women frequent on Crenshaw Blvd it is year of the Weave/Wig.

"NO YOU LIKE?! $34 DOLLA FO OUN PAK!"

So, why do I find this, somewhat offensive. Well obviously Saaphryi is fleecing people with her celebrity, as if her weave is any better
than any place on Crenshaw, East 14th, LaSalle or 125th Street.

Patti LaBelle?

I have an exercise for you...Google Image Patti LaBelle...and see some of the wigs this heffa has worn since She was a BlueBelle back in '62. And she thinks she's an authority on "Stylish" wigs....Well..she can be, she's an expert just as much as Virgil Exner was on car styling after that 4th bottle of Vodka and the 1962 Chrysler lineup came out....

Hair madness...pure hair madness....